Title: Big Bad By The Bay 3/10
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue. Oh, and I don't own The Simpsons, Indigo girls, or San Francisco either, but I promise to put them right back where I found them.

*****

"I don't get it, Giles."

"It's from the episode where Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant while Smithers is on holiday."

"No, I saw the episode. I just don't understand what it has to do with the apocalypse," Angel frowned.

Kate regarded Giles with frank confusion.

"You actually watch this show?"

"S-some of the humor is really quite sophisticated," he huffed. "Besides, I like the Bumblebee man."

"Who doesn't?" Lorne asked.

"I kinda like Maggie," Angel confessed.

Kate stared at the men.

"I can't believe you guys. The fate of the world hangs in the balance and you're talking about what cartoon characters you like best?"

Giles shrugged.

"I find that it's sometimes best to allow oneself to appreciate the good things, even when it seems like a silly thing to do."

"Did you learn that from watching The Simpsons?" Angel teased.

"No. From watching Buffy."

The man and the vampire regarded one another. After a moment, Angel flushed and dropped his gaze. Giles seemed to gather himself briefly, and went straight back to work.

Lorne pulled Kate aside almost instantly.

"Wouldn't you just love to get those two doing a duet? There's some serious baggage here, and I'm not talking Samsonite."

Kate nodded.

"It's all about the girl. Too bad."

"I know. Love wasn't meant to have three corners."

"Four."

"Four? What four? I only count three."

"Trust me, Lorne. Four."

"Okay, you're the detective."

Kate shook her head.

"It's not a detective thing. It's a woman thing."

"She must be some woman."

At that moment the door swung open and Buffy strode into the room.

"Giles, we need to talk," she began. Then she noticed Lorne and Kate. She turned to Angel.

"Friends of yours?"

The vampire shifted a bit uncomfortably.

"Buffy. You're back."

"Yeah." The silence lengthened. "You're looking good."

"So are you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls when they rise from the dead."

Angel smiled slightly.

"Not all of them."

He reached out a hesitant hand to take Buffy's. After a moment, she allowed him to hold it briefly.

"Sorry. I just needed to...I wanted to know..."

Buffy smiled softly.

"I understand. You and everybody else. Trust me; I'm back and I'm not going anywhere."

Giles cleared his throat.

"Buffy? You said you needed to speak with me, yes?"

"Yeah, I do. Maybe over that dinner you owe me?"

"You're having dinner with Giles?" Angel asked.

"Yup. Hey, he's gotta eat, I've gotta eat, and I beat him fencing so he gets to pay."

"Y'know, I'm feeling a might peckish myself..." Lorne began.

"Maybe room service?" Kate suggested.

"An excellent suggestion, Ms Lockley. So much more intimate."

"And so much less obvious that I'm having dinner with a demon."

The two strolled, arm in arm, to the girls' room.

"She may not want to show off her date, but I think mine's pretty presentable. Shall we?"

"Presentable, eh? I've been called worse. Come on then, I know an excellent place where we can have a quiet chat without interruption."

"So...I'll see you later, Buffy?"

"Yeah, Angel. We'll talk when my stomach's not so growly. Come on, Giles. Is this place expensive? I think I'm in the mood for expensive food."

Angel stared after the pair as they left.

At last he turned his attention resolutely to the charts Giles had made. If he couldn't go out on the town and take a pretty girl to dinner, at least he could make himself useful. His thoughts were interrupted seconds later by a none too subtle throat clearing in the doorway.

"Breaktime, Broody boy."

Cordelia closed the door behind herself and handed Angel a take out cup. He opened the top and sniffed suspiciously.

"I found a friendly butcher in Chinatown. Oh, and not to worry; no cinnamon this time."

"Thanks."

She stood nervously twisting her fingers for a moment, then inserted one into her mouth.

"Stop it, Cordy."

"I can't!"

"What's the deal? You're so nervous it feels like you're gonna jump out of your skin."

"I'm not nervous - much. So you haven't talked to Buffy, huh?"

"We said hello. Why? Did something happen?"

"Nothing, nothing...except I kinda lost it on her." She sat dejectedly. "Look, maybe I could just stay here with you tonight."

"Where here? Three men, one woman, two beds. Where are you going to sleep?"

"We could send Giles next door."

"Cordy, we can't do that."

"Why not? Kate's there. They'd be chaperoned and Lorne would be here so we'd be chaperoned, not that we really need it or anything, but we would be. Please, Angel?"

*****

Buffy was uncharacteristically quiet until she and Giles had placed their orders and the waitress left the table.

"What is it?"

"What's what?"

Giles looked hard at her over the rims of his glasses. With a sigh, the girl crumbled.

"Okay, okay. Giles, do you think the vision thingies could be making Cordy a bit...y'know...nuts?"

"Nuts?"

"It's just...when you left the gym, she told me Angel had been teaching her to fence, so we decided to have a fight. I just didn't know she meant for real."

She pulled up her left sleeve to reveal a large bandage.

"Good lord, Buffy! Are you alright?"

"I'll live. With Slayer healing it'll hardly show by this time tomorrow. It's pretty much just a scratch. The thing that gets me, though, is I'm sharing a room with Norman Bates, and there's a bathroom in that room, and there's a shower in that bathroom, and I think you can see where I'm going with this."

Giles tugged off his glasses and sighed.

"Buffy, it would hardly be appropriate for us to share a room."

"It's not like I've never spent the night with a guy before."

With that, Giles pulled out his handkerchief and polished the lenses of his spectacles furiously. Buffy reached out and placed her hand over his.

"Stop that, Giles. You'll break them."

His hands stilled, but she left hers in place.

"Look, I know you'd like to think I'm still a kid, but I did something funny: I went and grew up. I know what guys look like, and I've seen guy underwear and stuff without freaking. I can be mature about this."

"Yes, you've grown up. That's precisely why I can't possibly allow this."

Their eyes met. Giles found himself mesmerized by Buffy's expression. He blinked, sending a silent question to her. When she smiled reassuringly, he took her hand. She twined her fingers through his.

"School's out. I want and you want. It'll be okay."

"Buffy..."

"Unless you're going to say yes, I pretty much suggest you stop right there."

Giles let out a mirthless chuckle of frustration.

"As much as I'd like to say yes, I'm afraid I have to say no."

Buffy tugged her hand back and developed an all consuming interest in her breadsticks.

"It's not that I don't want to, Buffy."

"You don't have to pretend, Giles. It's okay."

"I'm not pretending. It's just...you've never given me any indication that you wanted this before."

"No indication? Giles, I've been flirting with you. You've been flirting with me. We've been doing the verbal foreplay thing since way before I died. I just thought maybe it was time we got honest about it."

"And this has nothing to do with Cordelia?"

"I'd be lying if I said this whole thing with her wasn't a darn convenient excuse, but I've really been thinking about this a long time."

"How long?"

"I think maybe Riley knew before I did."

"Well, he could be quite perceptive at times, and you've always had a talent for ignoring what you don't want to see."

"Gee thanks. Has anyone ever told you how crappy you are at sweet talking?"

"As a matter of fact, it's been a recurring theme with virtually every woman I've ever been with."

"And Ethan?"

Giles paled slightly and replaced his glasses.

"Don't be embarrassed. I figured that one out a long time ago."

"Riley's not the only one who can be too bloody perceptive."

"Giles, you told me yourself. Well, not in so many words told me, but Will found in a book that the whole Eyghon raising thing was about orgies and then you told me there were five guys and one girl in the group. Add that Ethan acts like one of Anya's more disturbing stories from her professional past, and well, I can do the math. If you can deal with Angel, I can deal with this."

The conversation was suspended while the waitress brought their meals. After a moment, Giles spoke quietly.

"There's a bit of math you haven't done."

"What? Are you gonna tell me you were getting it on with Randall too?" she teased.

At the wounded look in his eyes, Buffy knew she'd overstepped her boundaries.

"I'm sorry. That was supposed to be a joke. Not funny, huh?"

"No. It wasn't."

She placed a soothing hand on his sleeve.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want. And I know what happened to him was an accident."

When Giles grasped her hand briefly and then returned to his food, Buffy gave a small sigh of relief and resumed the conversation.

"So, what's this math I didn't do?"

"There are six people sharing two rooms this weekend."

"Six?"

"Yes, six. It seems that Lorne - that green fellow - and his friend, Kate, work with Angel a good deal."

"So why can't we get a third room and Angel and Lorne can share that?"

"I've already talked to the desk; the hotel's booked solid. There isn't another room to be had for love nor money. So unless you'd like an audience..."

"We can't."

The girl stabbed her chicken savagely.

"This weekend totally bites."